The Start & Brick Walls

"The brick walls are there for a reason.  The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something." Randy Pausche, The Last Lecture

In my journey to enrolling in yoga teacher training (YTT) I felt surrounded by brick walls.  I knew about a year and a half ago as I started getting back into yoga that I wanted to eventually become a certified yoga teacher.  I loved the way yoga connected me with my body and made me feel more alive. I could see what a great therapeutic tool yoga would be to me in my future work as a therapist, especially in working with children with autism.  I also knew that while there were a million yoga teacher programs all over the world I wanted to train at Bodhi Yoga because of it's off-the-beaten-path-yet-still-grounded-in-truth approach. In researching more about yoga teacher training I ran into my first brick wall: the program (as with most YTT programs) was nearly $3,000! I'm a preschool autism aide.  I'm not exactly rolling in the dough. So for the next year I put YTT on the shelf, believing that if it was meant to be a magical door would be opened for me.  

Fast forward to this last April.  I was attending a three day motivational conference.  Near the end of the conference the speaker was advertising for his other classes and programs when he said something about not letting money stand in the way of us fulfilling our dreams.  I know. It's a real salesmanish thing to say.  But when he said it YTT instantly came to my mind.  I realized if I really wanted to do it, I could find a way. I decided right then and there I would not let money be my excuse.

So, a couple weeks later I met with Syl Carson, the owner of Bodhi Yoga and the YTT instructor. She just so happens to live in my best friend's (Katie) mom's neighborhood.  After talking with Syl I became more sure that Bodhi Yoga was where I wanted to get my certification.  That night I called my mom to ask for help paying for the program.  At first my mom felt great about helping me with yoga teacher training, thinking it would be a practical way for me to make money while going to grad school in the fall. But a couple days later she ran into a friend of hers who had gone through yoga teacher training and had been unable to ever get a job. In comes brick wall #2: parent's disapproval.

I couldn't see another way to pull off taking the class without my parent's support until my friend suggested I start a GoFundMe page.  The first day my page was up I received... nothing. Discouraged,  I started to think maybe this really wasn't a good time for me to take YTT, that maybe this brick wall was a sign I needed to do it another time. But right when I was about to take down my GoFundMe page my mom called asking if I had seen that Kisi, Katie's mom, had donated $1,000 dollars.  I was deeply touched and felt new motivation to do what it would take to get into the class.  Others began donating to my campaign, including my parents, until I had raised enough money to enroll in the class.  But I wasn't done running into brick walls.  

Unlike most schools in our area, our preschool runs all the way through June.  I would need to take seven days off work in order to take the class.  Initially I thought this would be an easy thing to do since I hadn't taken any time off work before and because the summer months are typically a more chill time at our school.  However, I ended up not having enough hours saved up in order to take the time off I would need. Things were further complicated by the fact that my preschool class was kind of in a desperate situation. Our head teacher had been out of the classroom for the better part of two months due to a medical condition and we still weren't sure when she'd be back.  I tried to work something out with my boss where I would come into work for a couple of hours in the morning, missing a couple of YTT hours. Luckily my mom helped me put that it into perspective when she reminded me the class was costing me $300 a day. Did I really want to miss any of that? My only other option was to quit before the end of the school year. I hated the feeling of leaving my class in the lurch. I have a big thing about people pleasing and making everything as smooth and comfortable as possible for others. But in spite of myself, I finally decided to quit. 

 So... in order to take YTT I had to spend $3,000 I didn't have, go against my parent's practical advice, shamelessly ask others for money (which is not an easy task for me, fyi) and quit my job.  Maybe you're thinking I'm a fool.  Maybe I am.  But I'll tell you something: It feels really good to commit to something important to your. It feels good to know that if you want something, if you really want something, those brick walls? They can't stop you.  Nothing can stop you. 

www.gobodhiyoga.com